A while back, during a week-long training session, I was asked to visually represent my leadership pathway. The representation would be displayed at an ‘exhibition’ at the end of training. This was a huge challenge for me; my level of creativity when it comes to representing abstract concepts is pretty much nil, nor do I have any talent in the visual arts. Not to mention that I was at a distinct disadvantage – I’d travelled for this training, and was not in the same position as the locals who had all their household supplies, photos, printers, laptops, etc., with them to make stunning static visuals or nifty presentations. Armed with only a sheet of Bristol board and some standard Crayola markers (yup, the fat kind we used as kids), I left the classroom at the end of the day completely stumped. I had no idea what I was going to do.
I agonized over this for the first couple of evenings of the training. The blindingly white and empty Bristol board glared at me each night in my hotel room, all 22.5 x 28.5 inches seeming to glow in the dark as I tried to sleep. To be perfectly blunt, it was scaring the hell out of me, and I think at one point the self-reflection and self-examination actually made me cry. I’d just gone where life had taken me. I didn’t have a well-defined leadership path. I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up. Was that going to make people lose respect for me? What if my visual representation didn’t make sense to anyone else? What if I was the aimless oddity in a group full of goal-minded individuals? And most terrifying - what if people thought my artistic skills were crap?
A conversation with a fellow trainee on the bus back from Gatineau to Ottawa in the middle of the week gave me the solution. A maze. Perfect. You know where you’ve been, you kinda know where you are and mostly know how you got there, but you don’t necessarily know where you’re going. You’ve undoubtedly already hit a few obstacles or dead ends, and even if you know precisely where you need to end up, you’ll definitely hit more along the way. It was so very right.
That evening, I began to draw the maze. I labelled the dead ends with things that I’d experienced (mistakes – both my own or others’, setbacks, failures, stresses, challenges I’d overcome or anticipated) that had caused me to re-evaluate my path. I placed a stick figure of myself firmly in the middle.
It definitely wasn’t a masterpiece. The maze was black lines at 90 degree angles. The setbacks and dead ends were labelled in red, giving it an over-all newspaper-y effect. At the end there was a green question mark (I felt that all the red and black needed a bit of relief, and some green for positivity). I was actually on the fence as to whether or not it was better than nothing, but in spite of my doubts, I took it into the training on the appointed day, set it up, and watched as people scrutinized my poster, trying to gauge their reactions. Someone finally turned around and asked “whose is this?” I sheepishly raised my hand, sure they were about to call me out on my crappy job. I was certain they couldn’t believe the poor quality, and were trying to figure out if it was someone’s idea of a joke.
“It’s brilliant. And so true! I wish I’d thought of this. It’s the clearest representation of all the confusion and stress I’ve been going through that I’ve seen yet. You never get anywhere in a simple, straight line,” they said. A bunch of nods from those nearby. I suddenly felt confident enough to stand next to my maze and explain it more detail to others who came to see it afterwards.
Do I have a nice, straight leadership pathway now? No. Do I know where I want to be when I grow up now? No. Am I still in the middle of the maze? Of course. I’ve hit a few more dead ends since that training session, and have learned a few more things. I have realized that I can lead by pointing out the ‘dead ends’ I’ve experienced to others reaching similar points in their own personal mazes.
Did people lose respect for me when I exposed my mistakes, weaknesses and failures? Rather the opposite. In fact, several of my fellow trainees commented on how brave it was of me to publicly expose what had gone wrong (or at least not-quite-right) on my leadership pathway.
At a conference I recently attended, it was frequently said that leaders need vision. I’ve learned that I do not need to be the originator of a vision or concept in order to lead people in executing it. Each of my experiences has led to a better understanding how I can best use my strengths in this regard. The way I see it, without a pre-defined career goal I am in the perfect position to say ‘yes’ to any opportunities that present themselves.
Oh, and my visual artistic skills? Still pretty much non-existent. But I’m ok with that.
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